By Victoria

November 29, 2015

Think Happy, Be Happy?

You need to love yourself before you're truly ready to love another. As cliche as it sounds, it's true. & you start loving yourself by being completely happy with who you are independent of others. You don't need a significant other to make you happy. They can contribute to your happiness, but they shouldn't be the only source. The main source should be you.

I know that getting out of a relationship may seem like the end of the world at times. You feel stuck in this sadness as if you can never be happy again. In order to move on from a relationship though, you need to focus on what's best for you. You need to first face reality: You're single now. If you have the mentality that you need someone in your life to be happy, you will set up a perspective of life dependent on someone. You can't depend on others to always be there to uplift and make you happy. You need to make yourself happy.

If what you are thinking and doing doesn't make you happy, let it out. Vent. Cry. Crying actually gets rid of the chemicals in your body that causes stress. Once you're done, breathe and clear your mind. Start back up by thinking of the good things in your life. The people who are still here for you. This will help train your mind to realize you will be okay. Because a moment of sadness is nothing compared to a day of happiness. Make your mood and your happiness the top priority of your life. Not someone else's.

Lessons that I've learned from Eric Charles: Recognizing that you’re single means you won't be imprisoned in a reality where you can’t be happy unless you're with a specific person. When you fixate on a specific outcome with a particular person, you ruin what makes you attractive in the first place. Your confidence & independence. Every moment you spend unhappy not only pushes who you want away, but pushes your true self & potential away as well. When you let go of the idea that you need him in your life, you let go of the cycle of needing him.

Instead of making a specific outcome/person your goal, make happiness your goal. Be open to the idea that your own happiness in life is the most attractive thing to men. & be open to the idea that if you are truly happy in your life as a single person, then you'll be happy with or without a significant other. The right guy will appear when you're ready for him to appear. Even if you're set on a specific person still, you need to be willing to let others in. Because when a man knows that another man wants you, he will fight to win you. & if the guy you had your heart set on doesn't, that shows he was never worth it or willing to fight for you.

How do you find happiness? Simple. Follow all that makes you happy. Cut off anything that doesn't. These can be habits, situations, environments, activities, even people in your life. & you won't feel regret getting rid of these things, because it will make you happy! When you are able to live your life in line with what makes you happy, your confidence will shine. This will in return attract a variety of men.

You're gonna read this and know exactly what to do, think, and feel (Your mind is probably telling you yeah I need to move on, I need to let go, I need to stop thinking about him, etc.). You might even read up on other ways of moving on from a relationship. But just because you know what to do and what to feel doesn't mean it will click right away in the inside.

It's going to take time in order for you to get rid of the thoughts/things that are making you unhappy. & time can seem like forever before you finally feel better. But know that you can. Surround yourself with positivity. Complete things that you have been putting off. Clean the house. Explore yourself and go on adventures. Your adventures can be as simple as meeting new people, touring places in your city you've never been, to trying out new foods. Focus on doing you and what makes you feel good. Don't let anything hold you back. Because once you try something you've always wanted but never thought you could, you're going to build up this confidence that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

When you reach true happiness within yourself, you'll be able to reach the point to where even if he ended up finding someone else & getting into a committed relationship with her, you’d still be happy. You’d still be okay. You need to find that true happiness where you can say, “Things will work out for the best, even if I don’t know what that is yet.” You need to find that true happiness where you can say, “I love myself.”

Continue reading similar advice, blogs, & books. You can even read this over & over. There's nothing wrong with that. There's reasons why people go to multiple friends to vent & seek advice from when getting out of a relationship. Because even though you're reading & hearing the same general stuff, it's all positivity. Continue to surround yourself with it. When you reach happiness within yourself, your life will transform into what you have always wanted it to be. If this is what you want, then you actually have to do all this. Not just some of it. Actions will get you your results, not just listening, reading, & talking about it. You have to commit yourself & believe in yourself that you can be happy on your own.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. This opened my eyes quite a bit. I did not expect for it to give me a new viewpoint because I've read many similar posts about happiness, and they all say similar generic things. I agree, your happiness should not be dependent on someone else. People will always walk in and out of your life for different reasons. Not everyone is meant to stay. We have to see it as a lesson taught rather than a loss. It's hard to watch someone grow and move on while you're still stuck, but you shouldn't be wasting your time thinking about them. Like you mentioned, learn how to be your own happiness and love yourself. Shift your focus on yourself. Everything else will slowly fall into place. Sometimes it's hard to get rid of everything and make changes in your life, even the toxic things that made you unhappy because it has become a habit and that's all you've ever known. Despite this, I also agree with the fact that you should surround yourself with positivity and have a good support system who will help you take the first step.
    Thank you for this inspirational post.


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